Its just milk

last year after Emma and I moved into the golden girls, I had to start bringing her to school in the morning. so every morning Emma and Molly Anne and I would load up and head to Gallet. Emma always had cheerios and a glass of milk and after she finished Molly would get her left overs. after I dropped Emma off one morning I headed home and my phone rang as i was pulling in the garage, it was Sommar. I didnt answer bc i was going to call her back once I got inside. as soon as that call ended my dad called me. same thing- i didnt answer because i was trying to get in. with the phone calls going on i didnt realize the extra cars at the house, that and i was still half asleep. so i got out of my car and as molly was jumping out she knocked over the entire glass of Emma's milk. she just looked up at me and I could not even get mad. She looked too sweet. normally my total cleaning OCD would have kicked in and i would have freaked out. but for whatever reason that day i blew it off and just began cleaning. i walked inside and Tac and Dawnie and Mawmaw where in the living room. i just said hey and grabbed some paper towels and ran to the garage. Tac told me to go in and i said hold on, i gotta clean up this milk. So i walked in, i already knew something was wrong- all the details where hitting me- extra cars, Dawnie back from work at 730am- mawmaw on the sofa just sitting there speechless. My mom was out of town- she had left for Atlanta the day before. so my mind started spinning. so many people to worry about. i knew emma was ok- i just had here- but something was wrong- something i really did not want to know.

So i finally sat down and Tac looked at me and said- your mom is fine, your dad is fine- timmy and sarah are fine. but there has been an accident offshore and Frank was killed. i didnt really listen because I had just talked to Frank with Emma the night before and he was fine. and then the details started coming in. the first phone call i made was to my then boyfriend John, who was about as supportive as he ever was. and then i called Laura- she answered the phone with- yes, i am taking a shower today and going to be productive- she had just lost her job and was being lazy for a few days before that. i told her Frank was dead and she immediately headed over with cigarettes for me. after that the day just got slower and slower. every one came over- Danny Toups showed up not long after we found out. people were calling, texting, leaving facebook messages. I didnt realize it then because of the shock of it all but i had so many people who were there for me and i am so fortunate for that.

This year has been very long indeed- i dont ever want to relive that day again. but i am overwhelmed by the love and support of every one in my life. I could honestly not made it through this year with out each and every one of you and everything you have done for Emma and I. I thank God that Emma is old enough to remember how wonderful a man and father Frank was, and I thank God that she is young enough to not have to experience the sadness that we all feel every day.

It will be a year tomorrow. January 13- a day i will never forget. its the day that i learn thats its only spilt milk.

love to all!!!